#TrumpPutin #UkraineCeasefire #Diplomacy2024 #SatireNews #WorldLeadersUnite
By: TheJestPress.com
**Trump and Putin Might Meet to ‘Solve’ Ukraine War; Experts Recommend Extra Napkins at Summit**
In a surprising twist that has international relations experts frantically updating their bingo cards, a White House official has confirmed that Donald Trump could meet Vladimir Putin as early as next week, allegedly to discuss a Ukraine ceasefire. Sources say both parties have agreed to bring their own crayons for the negotiations.
Diplomatic insiders say arrangements are underway for the meeting, which will reportedly be held at a neutral location—either Olive Garden or Chuck E. Cheese, depending on which leader wins the round of Rock-Paper-Scissors. “We wanted to set a tone of casual diplomacy and unlimited breadsticks,” explained one anonymous State Department staffer, “but some are worried the animatronic band could prove distracting.”
Trump, ever the master negotiator, has apparently prepared a ten-point peace plan written on the back of a Mar-a-Lago cocktail napkin. “No one negotiates like me, folks. I’ve stopped more wars than I’ve started, which is an amazing ratio. Putin listens to me. He has to—I’m very loud,” Trump reportedly boasted to a group of very enthusiastic mirrors.
Putin’s entourage insists the Russian leader is approaching negotiations with an open mind and a closed shirt, citing his recent foray into shirtless horseback peacemaking as “proof of true commitment.” A leaked memo also outlines Putin’s willingness to swap TikTok dance tutorials for sanctions relief.
Critics worry, however, that the only concrete outcome might be a joint selfie or a new Twitter hashtag, #CeasefireSquad, which will break the internet but not the deadlock. In any case, both sides have already agreed that, at minimum, the meeting should yield commemorative hats.
Negotiations are expected to conclude swiftly, as both leaders reportedly have urgent appointments: Trump with his truth social followers, and Putin with his collection of presidential action figures.
By: TheJestPress.com
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