#Satire #TheWalkingDead #ImmortalIrony #Hollywood #Zombies
By: TheJestPress.com
HOLLYWOOD, CA – In a twist more ironic than a rubber pretzel, “The Walking Dead” actress Kelley Mack has tragically passed away at age 33. Fans, zombies, and the occasional method actor have gathered online for a digital vigil, holding virtual torches aloft and chanting in a coordinated monotone.
While the news of Mack’s passing is enough to make any superfan drop their katana in dismay, conspiracy theorists are already speculating that she might be simply reprising her role as Addy—only this time, in a much more immersive performance. “You never know with these method actors,” said one internet commenter suspiciously named ‘Carl_GRIM3Zz,’ “She could stumble in during season 28. No one stays dead in this universe, except maybe for Glenn.”
AMC, ever the opportunists, are reportedly considering a spinoff titled “The Walking Dead: Afterlife,” starring Mack’s character as the first actor to be killed off both on and off screen. Insiders say the show will follow Addy as she navigates the tricky world of Hollywood ghost auditions, where being ‘undead’ is just another box to tick on a casting sheet.
Hollywood detectives (isn’t that just TMZ with badges?) are on the case, making sure that Mack doesn’t just suddenly appear wandering the Warner Bros. backlot. “If she does,” one agent said while nervously sipping coffee, “we hope she gives casting directors a good scare—and maybe a reminder that actors need better benefits.”
Meanwhile, morticians everywhere are updating their resumes, just in case the union starts requiring actors to film from beyond the grave. Fans can rest assured: in the world of The Walking Dead, the only thing that’s truly dead is logic.
Stay tuned for updates—or at least a jump scare.
By: TheJestPress.com
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