#FuneralHomeFiasco #PuebloPlotTwist #HideAndShriek #CoronerChronicles #NotSoRestInPeace
**By: TheJestPress.com**
PUEBLO, CO—In a story that’s giving the phrase “you had one job” a whole new meaning, Pueblo County’s Coroner, Dr. Mortis Graves, made headlines yesterday after being accused of hiding bodies in a secret room at his own privately-owned funeral home.
The bombshell came to light after local handyman, Jim “Sawzall” Parker, dropped his sandwich behind a suspiciously squeaky bookshelf while fixing a leaking pipe at Graves’ funeral parlor. “I was just trying to get my hoagie, man, and suddenly I’m staring at a dozen toe-tagged guests having a party behind a fake wall,” Parker told authorities.
Investigators say the “secret room” was ingeniously tucked behind a stack of 1997 Reader’s Digest magazines and an urn labeled simply “Definitely Not Evidence.” Inside the windowless chamber, bodies were found lounging in suspiciously well-ironed suits and, reportedly, playing an eternal game of charades.
When questioned, Dr. Graves claimed it was “just an alternative storage method” and touted his funeral home’s “innovative approach to space management.” He insisted the bodies weren’t hidden, just “relocated for enhanced afterlife privacy.”
“This is just a big misunderstanding,” Dr. Graves told reporters. “Our slogan is ‘We put the fun in funeral!’ Sometimes you have to get creative in this market.”
Local residents remain divided. Some praised the coroner’s “commitment to personalization,” while others complained that the line between “exclusive VIP afterlife lounge” and “evidence locker” is getting a little too blurry in Pueblo.
As the investigation continues, authorities have promised to closely monitor the county’s upcoming “Body Hide-N-Seek Championship,” just in case Dr. Graves tries to take the gold.
Stay tuned as more corpse-related plot twists emerge. And remember: If your loved one checks in with Dr. Graves, you might want to ask for a map.
By: TheJestPress.com
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