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Congress.gov Loses Constitution Sections 9 & 10—History Goes on a Coffee Break
#ConstitutionGone #NowYouSeeIt #HistoricOops #CongressDotWhoops #FoundingFears By: TheJestPress.com WASHINGTON D.C. — A curious thing happened Wednesday morning when thousands of amateur historians, law students, and lost 8th graders reported that Sections 9 and 10 of…
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India Plans Bollywood-Style Dance Off to Settle US Tariff Dispute
#IndiaVsUSTariffs #TariffTantrums #TradeWarsReloaded #JustLetUsShop #DiplomacyWithSpice By: TheJestPress.com **India Calls Additional US Tariff ‘Unfair, Unjustified and Unreasonable’, Threatens to Unfriend America on WhatsApp** In a bold and ‘highly emotional’ press conference, India’s Ministry of Commerce…
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City Living Sends Night Shift Pollinators on Unpaid Leave Worldwide
#SaveTheBees #UrbanJungle #HoverflyHeaven #MothMatters #UrbanBuzzkill **By: TheJestPress.com** **Urbanization Linked to 43% Drop in Pollinating Insects: Developers Celebrate with Concrete Cake** In news that’s sure to bug you, a groundbreaking new study has found that…
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Laser-Focused Factory Lands in India, Machines Ready to Outshine Bollywood!
#LaserLaughs #MachineToolMadness #MakeInIndia #TRUMPFeting #SatirePress By: TheJestPress.com In a bold move set to revolutionize both industry and dad jokes across the subcontinent, TRUMPF, the global behemoth in machine tools and laser technology, has fired…
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Lebanon Urges Army to Play Whac-A-Mole with Hezbollah by Year’s End
#Lebanon #Hezbollah #SatireNews #ArmyPlans #MiddleEastHumor By: TheJestPress.com **Lebanon Tells Army to Prepare Plan to Disarm Hezbollah; Army Responds by Googling “How to Disarm Hezbollah”** In what experts are calling “remarkably ambitious” and “almost as…
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Walking Dead Star Kelley Mack Joins the Eternal Cast at 33
#Satire #TheWalkingDead #ImmortalIrony #Hollywood #Zombies By: TheJestPress.com HOLLYWOOD, CA – In a twist more ironic than a rubber pretzel, “The Walking Dead” actress Kelley Mack has tragically passed away at age 33. Fans, zombies,…
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Lula Snubs Trump, Picks Modi and Xi for Ultimate Bromance Deal
#Brazil #Lula #TrumpTariffs #GlobalPolitics #Satire By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking turn of diplomatic events, President Lula of Brazil has steadfastly refused to call former U.S. President Donald Trump to negotiate the newly imposed 50%…
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Oklahoma Speaker Blames TV for Mysterious Explosion of Explicit Walters Images
#OklahomaHouse #TVAccident #WhoopsieDaisy #PoliticalOops #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking turn of events this week, Oklahoma House Speaker Charles “GuessWhatNow?” McDaniels assured reporters that the explicit images which abruptly flashed across Superintendent Ryan Walters’…
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Robots Count Women in Science, But Still Can’t Fix Quotas Yet
#Satire #WomenInSTEM #MachineLearning #PolicyProblems #GlassCeiling By: TheJestPress.com **Groundbreaking Machine Learning Study Reveals: Women in Science Policy Still Outnumbered by Conference Lanyards** A new mega-study using advanced machine learning has bravely crunched numbers across 60…
