-
Tech Giants Play Gatekeeper, Blocking Ukraine and Gaza Posts Like Drama Queens
#Hashtags: #FreeSpeechish #TechNope #AlgorithmAnxiety #BlockedAndLoaded #TermsAndGenocide By: TheJestPress.com **Tech Giants to Users: “Better Luck Next Post” as Ukraine and Gaza Content Gets Zapped Under “New Rules”** In an attempt to keep the internet a…
-
Quebec Doctors Face Deepfake Doppelgangers Peddling Pills and Panic
#DeepfakeDocs #QuebecQuacks #MedicalMayhem #FakePills #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com **Quebec Physicians Warn: ‘That’s Not Me Selling Viagra on TikTok (But My Accent Is Flattered)’** MONTRÉAL—The Quebec Federation of Physicians (QFP) issued a stern warning this week…
-
Butter’s Backstab: Animal Fats Sabotage Tumor Fighting, Plants Save Day
#AnimalFatFail #ButterBlunders #PlantPower #ImmuneSystem #SatireScience By: TheJestPress.com In a revelation that will have bacon enthusiasts clutching their chests (and not just from cholesterol), scientists have declared war on animal fats. According to a new,…
-
South Africa’s Rhinos Go Radioactive to Stop Poachers in Their Tracks
#RhinoGlowUp #PoacherProblems #RadioactiveHorns #WildlifeWins #TooHotToHandle By: TheJestPress.com In a bold new move to save its vulnerable rhino population, South Africa has begun injecting rhino horns with radioactive material, making them safer for rhinos and…
-
Russian Oil Tankers Enjoy Extended Vacation Off India Amid Sanctions Blitz
#RussianOil #SanctionsProblems #TankerTales #BloombergSatire #InternationalOops By: TheJestPress.com **Russian Oil Tankers Idling Off India Threaten to Form Support Group for Unemployed Ships** In an unforeseen twist to the ongoing global sanctions thriller, Russian oil tankers…
-
Elon Musk’s Nashville Tunnel Gets Free Land, Because Why Not Public Outcry
#NashvilleTunnel #ElonMusk #BoringCompany #FreeLand #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com NASHVILLE, TN — In a bold move that local officials say was “absolutely not influenced by free flamethrower coupons,” the city council has unanimously approved a *free*…
-
Kyiv’s Nightlife Really Explodes: 28 Dead, 159 Wounded and Counting
#satire #russia #kyiv #news #war By: TheJestPress.com Kyiv—In a shocking turn of events, Russia has once again demonstrated its unwavering commitment to increasing international outrage as the death toll from its latest “surprise” attack…
-
PEX39 Saves The Day, Finally Helping Proteins Find Their Way Home
#ScienceBreakthrough #TotallyNotMadeUp #PEX39 #CellularDrama #ProteinPortals By: TheJestPress.com **BREAKING: Scientists Discover PEX39, the TSA Agent of Cellular Proteins** In what many bio-nerds are calling the “greatest cellular import scandal since the discovery of the mitochondria’s…
-
Piprahwa Relics Finally Return Home, Apparently Tired of Touring Abroad
#SacredCargo #RelicRedemption #HistoryHeist #AntiquityAdventures #BuddhaBackHome By: TheJestPress.com After only 130 years of the world’s most “enlightened” custody battle, the priceless Piprahwa Relics, allegedly containing the ashes of Buddha himself, are finally coming home to…
