• Conspiracy Theorists Prove Friendship Is Stranger Than Fiction in New Study

    #NewFriends #ConspiracySocialClub #NotSoLonely #OpenArmsClosedMinds #TinFoilTogether By: TheJestPress.com A groundbreaking five-year study released this week has finally debunked the most nefarious stereotype about conspiracy theorists: that they spend their days alone in poorly lit basements,…

  • High Noon Mistakes Vodka Seltzer for Energy Drink, Chaos Ensues

    #VodkaMistake #SeltzerSurprise #EnergyDrinkFails #BuzzedAtBrunch #RecallRoundup By: TheJestPress.com In a move destined to test the limits of both dance floors and medical advice, High Noon announced today a nationwide recall of its vodka seltzer packs…

  • Arab States Suggest Hamas Try Yoga Instead of Rockets in Surprising Peace Pitch

    #Satire #MiddleEast #Diplomacy #Hamas #UnexpectedNews By: TheJestPress.com **Arab League Calls on Hamas to Disarm, Immediately Files For Trademark on “Unprecedented Moves”** CAIRO — In a move so unexpected it caused spontaneous coffee spills from…

  • Carpenter Named Jesus Nails ICE with Unexpected Arrest Twist

    #Satire #BreakingNews #JesusArrested #ICE #CarpenterProblems By: TheJestPress.com BETHLEHEM, PENNSYLVANIA – In what experts are calling “arguably not the Second Coming we expected,” Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents made headlines yesterday after detaining a…

  • Vape Flavor Bans Spark Confusion, Still No One Smokes Bananas

    #Satire #VapingNews #FlavorBan #TobaccoTrends #StudiesBeLike By: TheJestPress.com A new, shockingly inconclusive study published this week reveals that state bans on flavored e-cigarettes have an impact on tobacco use that hovers somewhere between “life-changing revelation”…

  • Knesset Speaker Suggests Palestinians Try Building State Near Big Ben Instead

    #Londonstan #ParisPalestine #TravelBan #KnessetComedy #BuildABorder By: TheJestPress.com Knesset Speaker Amir Ohana has catapulted himself back into the international mockery spotlight this week after suggesting that anyone wishing for a Palestinian state should go ahead…

  • Klyuchevskoy Throws Fiery Tantrum Following Slight Earthquake Excuse

    #VolcanoDrama #EarthquakeBlues #ExplosiveNews #MagmaticMeltdown #HotterThanSiberia By: TheJestPress.com **Klyuchevskoy Volcano in Russia’s Far East Starts Erupting After Earthquake, Wakes Up Feeling “Shaken and Stirred”** KAMCHATKA—In a bold display of geological flair, Russia’s tallest volcano, Klyuchevskoy,…

  • Australia’s Social Media Ban Goes Global, Even Wiggles Are Not Pleased

    #SocialMediaBan #TeenTragedy #WigglesWorries #AussieSatire #BanDanceHits By: TheJestPress.com SYDNEY—After boldly proposing a plan to ban teenagers from social media, Australia has announced its intention to take the digital detox global, ignoring furious protests from the…

  • When Wheels Attack: The Shocking Truth About Scooter and Bike Injuries

    #ElectricScooterWars #BikeVsScooter #UrbanJousting #StudySilliness #ModernMayhem By: TheJestPress.com In a groundbreaking new study sure to revolutionize the way you ignore traffic laws, medical researchers have compared the injuries sustained by e-scooter riders with those inflicted…