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Rubio Battles Bolsonaro by Playing Rough with Brazilian Judges’ Visas
#Satire #RubioVsJudges #BrazilPolitics #VisaSwap #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com Hot on the trail of whatever cable news tells him is important, U.S. Senator Marco Rubio bravely leaped into the international ring this week, moving to strip…
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Training Day Tragedy Leaves LA Sheriff’s Office in Historic Kaboom Chaos
#LosAngeles #SheriffExplodes #TrainingGoneWrong #OopsieDaisy #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com LOS ANGELES, CA — In a move guaranteed to make future law enforcement trainees develop an interest in basket weaving, the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department suffered its…
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Single Americans Find Real Friends Are Better Than Endless Text Chains
#FriendshipGoals #SingleLifeHacks #BestieBoost #EmotionalWellness #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com **Study Finds Having Quality Friends Makes Single People Forget They’re Single — Until Valentine’s Day** A groundbreaking new study has revealed what single Americans have long suspected…
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Tennessee Practice Discovers Unborn Babies Are Surprisingly Marital Status-Sensitive
#Satire #BreakingNews #Tennessee #PrenatalCare #UnmarriedScandal By: TheJestPress.com **Exclusive: Pregnant Woman in Tennessee Denied Prenatal Care for Being Unmarried** In an incident that has shocked the 21st century, local Tennessee woman Rachel Hopkins was allegedly…
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Israel and Syria Call Truce, Syrian Troops Get Sweida VIP Pass
#Satire #MiddleEastPeace #NotTheOnion #UnlikelyAlliances #CeasefireSorta By: TheJestPress.com **Israel and Syria Agree to Ceasefire; Israel Graciously Allows Syrian Troops to Visit Sweida, But Only If They Promise to Behave** An unprecedented move in Middle Eastern…
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Local Pedestrian Obstacle Course Turns Dangerous as Car Joins the Chaos
#BreakingNews #LosAngeles #TrafficWoes #OnlyInLA #Satire By: TheJestPress.com In what authorities are already calling “just another Tuesday in LA”, several people were critically injured when a vehicle, seemingly fed up with LA’s infamous traffic, made…
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Microsoft Joins EU AI Code Party, Meta Throws Itself a Rebellion Bash
#Satire #AIRebellion #BigTechDrama #MetaVsMicrosoft #GuidelineGames By: TheJestPress.com **Microsoft Cheers, Meta Jeers as EU AI Code of Practice Sparks Tech Soap Opera** In a plot twist more unexpected than Clippy’s return, Microsoft has announced it…
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Titan’s Goo Party: How Tiny Blobs Could Crash Alien Lakeside Homes
#SaturnianSoup #TitanLifeHack #DIYProtocells #AlienBiochemistry #NextStopMars By: TheJestPress.com In a stunning development certain to send shockwaves through both the scientific community and people who pretend to understand astrobiology on Twitter, researchers today announced a plausible…
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Texas Man Joins Russian Army for Respect, Quickly Discovers It’s a Trap
#TexasInRussia #LoneStarLetdown #RespectTheTexan #BootsOnWrongGround #YeehawNyet By: TheJestPress.com WACO, TX – Larry “Tex” Bartlett, 34, an out-of-work rodeo clown and “part-time line dancer,” shocked his friends and several local Whataburger employees this week when he…
