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Police’s Bright Idea Backfires Spectacularly in Questionable Shooting Incident
#PoliceReformNow #JusticeForAll #SatireNews #BodycamBlunders #HeadScratching By: TheJestPress.com In an unprecedented display of courage, the Smalltown Police Department revealed yesterday that they are “reviewing procedures internally” after a newly released bodycam video showed officers fatally…
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DGCA Demands Boeing Jet Fuel Switch Check Before Planes Decide New Destinations
#AviationInspection #Boeing787 #DGCA #AeroComedy #FuelingTheLaughs By: TheJestPress.com In what some are calling “the least exciting episode of Air Crash Investigation ever,” India’s Directorate General of Civil Aviation (DGCA) has ordered a full-scale inspection of…
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Pam Bondi Axes Ethics Boss, Justice Department Suddenly Confused and Shocked
#Satire #PamBondi #USJusticeDepartment #EthicsGone #BreakingNews By: TheJestPress.com **Pam Bondi Fires US Justice Department’s Top Ethics Adviser, Citing “Unhelpful Obsession With Ethics”** Washington, D.C. — In a bold move showcasing her commitment to uncompromised leadership,…
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Aluminum in Vaccines Still Not Turning Kids Into Robots After 24 Years
#Vaccines #AluminumFoilHats #ScienceWins #AntiVaxFacts #ParentalParanoia **Groundbreaking Study Finds Zero Link Between Aluminum in Vaccines and Childhood Diseases, Leaves Conspiracists Searching for New Material** By: TheJestPress.com In what can only be described as a cataclysmic…
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Victorville Teddy Bear Mystery Solved: Definitely Not Made of Human Skin
#VictorvilleMystery #NotHumanSkin #TeddyBearDrama #BreakingNews #RelievedAuthorities By: TheJestPress.com Victorville, CA — Rumors spread throughout Victorville as rapidly as grandma’s questionable potato salad at a Fourth of July picnic this weekend, after a “disturbingly lifelike” teddy…
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Judge Slaps Argentina’s Share Swap, Says Nice Try But No Deal
#LawAndOrder #ArgentinaDrama #CourtroomComedy #YPFWoes #LegalLaughter By: TheJestPress.com In a move that surprised only those who think “staying” is something reserved for obedient golden retrievers, a U.S. judge has officially rejected Argentina’s request to hit…
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Starbucks Demands Remote Workers Brew Loyalty Back at Headquarters or Else
#Starbucks #RemoteWork #CorporateComedy #Relocation #Officedrama By: TheJestPress.com **Starbucks to Remote Employees: “We Need You Back, And Maybe Closer”** In a bold move that shocked both coffee addicts and hermit millennials everywhere, Starbucks announced this…
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New UNO Casino Hits Vegas, Plans to Shuffle Nation’s Luck Everywhere
#UNOMania #CasinoCraze #CardSharks #VivaLasUNO #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com LAS VEGAS—In a move that could finally give blackjack a run for its money (and, let’s be honest, your lunch money too), the UNO Casino Club has…
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Older Women Keep Getting Mammograms Because Doctors, Stories, and Yesterday’s X-Ray Say So
#Satire #HealthNews #BoomerMammos #DoctorKnowsBest #MammogramMatters By: TheJestPress.com **Study Finds Older Women Will Do Literally Anything if Their Doctor Mentions It, Especially Mammograms** In a groundbreaking exposé that has the medical world absolutely flabbergasted, scientists…
