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State Department’s New Hobby: Collecting 6,000 Vacant Student Visas
#Satire #StudentVisas #USStateDepartment #InternationalStudents #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **US State Department Revokes 6,000 Student Visas, Claims Students “Weren’t Sure What A W-2 Was Anyway”** WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning move that experts are calling…
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FTC Hunts Swift Ticket Scalper, Drama Hits All Too Swiftly
#SwiftJustice #Ticketgate #FTCvsScalpers #ErasTourTrouble #ShakeItOffScammers By: TheJestPress.com In a legal move as dramatic as a surprise album drop, the Federal Trade Commission announced Wednesday that it is suing infamous ticket reseller group Scalperinos R…
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Maine Cop Joins ICE’s VIP Exit Program, Says Goodbye Voluntarily
#Satire #MaineNews #ICE #PoliceGoneWild #OnlyInAmerica By: TheJestPress.com AUGUSTA, ME — In an unprecedented turn of bureaucratic Uno reverse cards, a Maine police officer has agreed to voluntarily leave the United States after being detained…
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Netanyahu Threatens Lawsuit Over Gaza Photo, Times Now Fear Walking Dead Status
#Netanyahu #NYTSued #GazaPhoto #SatireNews #LegalDrama By: TheJestPress.com In a bold move that combines international diplomacy with the irresistible urge to file lawsuits, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced today that Israel is “exploring legal…
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Erin Patterson’s Mushroom Murder Mystery Baffles Scientists and Spouses Alike
#ErinPatterson #MushroomMurder #CrimeCuisine #TrueCrimeParody #NotAFunGuy By: TheJestPress.com **Allegations Mushroom Murderer Tried to Kill Husband Aired: Casserole Capers Reach Peak Drama** PORT FAIRY—In news that has sent shockwaves through both the criminal justice system and…
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Israel’s New Real Estate Expansion: Gaza Edition Gets Groundbreaking Attention
#MiddleEastMysteries #SatelliteScandal #WhereInTheWorldIsGaza #BreakingBricks #TacticalTerrace By: TheJestPress.com **Satellite Images Reveal Israel’s Bizarre New Hobby: Collecting Troops Near Gaza Like Pokémon Cards** In a shocking revelation that absolutely nobody saw coming (except everyone with a…
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Sperm Swap Success: Babies Thrive, Moms Survive Blood Pressure Drama
#DonorDadDrama #MedicalMystery #SpermSaga #PreeclampsiaPanic #ScienceSatire **Breaking: Donor Sperm Found to Improve Babies—But Might Give Moms a Bad Attitude** By: TheJestPress.com A new study published this week is shaking up bedrooms, biology classes, and baby…
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Israeli Security Cabinet Unveils New Hobby: Urban Gazan Real Estate Expansion
#Satire #InternationalNews #MiddleEast #GazaCity #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Israeli Security Cabinet Approves Plan to Occupy Gaza City; Already Looking for Airbnb Listings** TEL AVIV – In an audacious move that has historians, peace negotiators, and…
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US Doubles Maduro Bounty, Offers Cash Prize for Venezuelan Hide and Seek Champion
#MaduroMadness #BountyHunterBoom #RewardRiches #DiplomacyDollarMenu #CashForCoup By: TheJestPress.com **US Increases Reward for Arresting Venezuela’s Maduro to $50 Million, Local Man’s GoFundMe Soars to $27** Washington, D.C. — In a major statement to the world—and to…
