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Rapper’s Arrest: Togo’s Ruling Dynasty Faces More Drama Than a Soap Opera
#JusticeForBars #FreestyleFreedom #TogoNotSolo #MicDropProtests #DynastyDilemma By: TheJestPress.com LOMÉ—The streets of Togo’s capital are blaring with the sound of not-so-silent protest after beloved rapper MC Révolté was arrested late Thursday night for “excessive lyricism in…
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Miami Dad’s U.S. Exit Detoured—Swapped TSA for Alligator Alcatraz!
# AlligatorAlcatraz #MiamiMania #FloridaWild #DadOnTheRun #SatireNews By: TheJestPress.com **MIAMI, FL –** Edward “Eddie” Martinez had always referred to himself as a “man of adventure.” Armed with nothing but a passport and a regrettable Hawaiian…
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Judge Hits Pause: Trump’s Birthright Citizenship Order Takes a Coffee Break
#Satire #TrumpOrders #BirthrightCitizenship #JudicialPause #JestPressNews By: TheJestPress.com In what White House officials are calling “the greatest, most tremendous pause in judicial history,” a federal judge announced today a temporary halt to former President Trump’s…
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ICE Mistakes Grandma’s Bingo Night for Border Breach, Detains Instead
#Satire #ICEFails #GrandmaGate #OnlyInAmerica #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **ICE Handcuffs 71-Year-Old U.S. Citizen Grandma at San Diego Immigration Court, Finally Nabs “Most Dangerous Threat”** SAN DIEGO—In a stunning display of—well, something—agents from the U.S. Immigration…
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Human Rights Court Declares Semenya’s Sex Test a Comedy of Errors
**Human Rights Court: Surprise! Turns Out Asking Athletes About Their Privates is a Bit Unfair** By: TheJestPress.com In today’s episode of “Authorities With Clipboards Making Things Super Awkward,” the Human Rights Court has dropped…
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Comey Followed, Kid Forgotten, Kerr County Snoozes: America’s Daily Drama Unfolds
**Comey Tracked by Secret Service After Post Critical of Trump; Texas Officials Still Figuring Out Text Message Technology** By: TheJestPress.com Washington, D.C. — The Secret Service is now officially tracking James Comey, former FBI…
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New Rule Lets You Click To Cancel—Unless It’s Actually Canceling!
**Consumer Relief Dies as ‘Click-To-Cancel’ Rule Blocked, Experts Recommend Cancelling Your Dream of Cancelling** *By: TheJestPress.com* In a devastating blow to people just trying to escape the monthly $7.99 drain for “2,000 Emoji Stickers…
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Last City COVID Test Center Closes—Time to Guess Your Diagnosis!
**The Last City-Run Walk-In COVID Test Center to Close; Local Resident Unsure Where He’ll Now Test for Pessimism** By: The Satirical Syringe In what public health officials are calling “the end of an era,”…
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“Breaking: Comey Now Secret Service’s Newest Unwelcome Pen Pal After Roasting Trump”
**Comey Tracked by Secret Service After Post Critical of Trump; Now Required to Provide “Daily Vibes Update”** In yet another shocking example of what experts call “creative use of government resources,” sources confirmed Tuesday…
